My tutor feedback is shown below and my comments in italics.
Overall feedback
Dear Ian
Ian Meechan Andrea Norrington
PhotographyDigital Image and Culture Written
Student number: Assignment No.: Date:
515528 3 01/03/24
Many thanks for the essay which was received via email. As per my previous emails, please can you see if you can submit assignments via OCA Learn. I am able to return the feedback to you via this system so you should be able to submit.
If you are unable to do this, please let me know and contact tel@oca.ac.ukIn the previous feedback, I suggested that assignment 4 would be best as a video call as
the work develops into assignment 5 via discussion/feedback.
For the coursework for Part Three I could not see the exercises/completed – please correct me if I am wrong here.
I would suggest working through all of part three before you redraft the essay. I think there will be some of the research points where you are directed to reflect and write about the reading set that will help further with the essay – or may point you in the direction of other points of reference.
OCA Formative Feedback: Page: 1
Assignment 3
This is the final assignment of academic writing at Level Two and therefore should be viewed in the context that is preparation for the writing at Level Three – the final year of a degree program.
A note on the format of submission – I realise that this is just a draft – please do adhere to the presentation guidelines given on OCA Learn:
Your essay should be 2,000 words, +/- 10% excluding quotes. [Amended 21/01/2021 - See PH5DIC Unit Error Record]
Include a cover page with the title and a word count, including and excluding quotations and any footnotes.
Include a cover page with the title and a word count, including and excluding quotations and any footnotes.
Include examples to illustrate your discussion and list your sources in a list of illustrations at the front of the essay.
Your essay should be fully referenced and include a bibliography at the end. Follow the guide to academic referencing on the student website.
Your essay should be in a standard font and 1.5 or double-line spaced.
You may include additional material (primary research, correspondence) within appendices at the end if you wish. Do note the cover page, and the spacing requirements. Do also watch the word count as the range is 1800-2200 without quotations. For the essay you have set your own question – if may be helpful to set a sub-clause. The use of a sub-clause can help set parameters in such a short piece of writing. For example you could set date parameters – say ‘From 2010 – present day’ or you could use geographical parameters if that was applicable. Having read the essay and made comments below – I would recommend narrowing the essay down to one of the topic areas that you cover to allow for more in depth writing. The essay has been laid out clearly with the use of headings. This makes it easy for the structure to be understood. The introduction is clear but makes one critical omission – that is the definition of ‘professional photography’. For me this is a key point for the rest of the essay to be understood. Professional photography is an incredibly wide field – do you mean commercial photographers, photojournalists, could it be photographers working in specialist
OCA Formative Feedback: Page: 2
medical, military or scientific fields. Many art photographers could also see themselves as professional photographers as opposed to being an amateur photographer.
A clear definition here is needed otherwise the rest of the essay can easily be picked apart.
In ‘The iPhone Revolution’ you write:
“Can the iPhone genuinely be a professional tool for photography when compared to traditional professional cameras?”
What do you include in professional cameras?
Under ‘Image Quality’ you refer to professional photographers often relying on high-end DSLR or mirrorless cameras. There is no mention of medium or large format cameras used with or without digital backs. These are in common use for landscape, advertising, and scientific photographers and will give exceptional high quality.
There are also several photographers I know working commercially who switch camera format and include the use of camera phones in their work. This can often be dictacted by the demands of the work required and will select the best ‘tool’ for the job.
For versatility – iPhones may lack the ability to sync with some accessories, but they have the following advantages of portability, of being able to post to the internet quickly. They are also unobtrusive which at times can be a distinct advantage.
Under ‘Pro or not Pro?’
This sentence needs clarification as it does not read well.
‘The iPhone has undoubtedly elevated mobile photography to new heights but needs to replace professional cameras for certain applications.’
For the ‘Case Study: Instagram Influencers and Content Creation’
You have outlined the biographies of the photographers and how Murad Osmann has moved from iPhone to DSLR – how are they informing your discussion? Will you use illustrations here
Again there are no illustrations for Erik Johnansson.
These are not really case studies as only feature for a brief paragraph in the essay.
‘Impact on Traditional Photography Business Models Monetisation and Commercial Viability’
OCA Formative Feedback: Page: 3
Your write: ‘Many photographers now rely on licensing agreements, fine art prints, or commissions to generate revenue’ – can you be more precise on ‘many photographers’ – where did this information come from – can you back this up with reference sources. Are you referring to a certain type of professional photographer here?
I don’t think the case study of Kodak is needed here – it is taking away from the main direction of the writing and uses up precious words.
Adaptation and Skill DiversificationEthical Considerations, Copyright Infringement and Manipulation
In these two sections, it would be good to see some references to back up the assertions. Is there industry research that is stating this? Where did you research come from – this is a critical review and should have valid sources to back up assertions.
Copyright Infringement, Intellectual Property and Piracy:
‘Additionally, the rise of user-generated content on social media platforms has blurred the line between professional and amateur photography.’
There is needed here clearer definitions of professional and amateur photography. It may be much more helpful in this essay to concentrate on one genre/style of photography – eg landscape or fashion for example. This is where a sub clause can be useful in helping to define the scope of your topic under discussion.
Case Study: Richard Prince
Is Richard Prince a professional photographer? He is normally described as an artist/photographer. There are other art photographers who are appropriating the work of others – this article features some others that work in a similar vein:
https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/gallery/2017/mar/07/remake-remodel-the-art-of- appropriation-in-pictures
OCA Formative Feedback: Page: 4
Case Study: East vs. West AI produced images debate
This is an interesting section and could be expanded out to the basis of the whole critical review. It is clear topic to discuss and with appropriate in depth research and referencing and illustrations could give a clear cut topic for discussion.
In your conclusion you are tying together the numerous threads that have been covered in your discussion – the paragraphs on AI are clear and concise. This adds to my view that this topic would be better suited as the main basis of this piece of writing.
Summary/Action Points
At the moment there are too many separate threads of discussion for an essay of such short length. This has prevented you for going into any in-depth discussion and be able to use a variety of reference sources to discuss any one point in detail. This is complicated by the lack of definition is what is meant by ‘professional photography’. This definition however is not clear cut and could easily take up the entire word count!
The East vs West AI difference is a focussed topic which I feel could be expanded out with further research. The conclusion around AI is clear and opens up to considerations beyond photography.
Your referencing focusses around web based articles rather than any academic research. I would suggest working through the material and exercises for the coursework in Part Three as there may be some valid research material there (it is also well worth looking at the references in the writings you read as that can lead to other reference sources).
You should have access to the OU Library – the advantage of being with the OU is that you will have access to the whole library catalogue – this means that business and technology categories are included. There will be articles in journals that discuss the impact of AI.
This additional research is important – as this is academic writing, it is expected that a range of research sources are used – some of these should be academic in nature. I do also recommend delving deeper into Fred Ritchin’s “After Photography”. A quick internet search for Fred Ritchin and ‘AI’ will show that he is actively writing about this topic as well.
Do also remember to include some illustrations in the essay – these should be referenced.
Under the OU we are still using Harvard Referencing however the guidance is slightly amended. This can be accessed here at the ‘Cite Them Right’ page on the OU library site:
https://www5.open.ac.uk/library/referencing-and-plagiarism/quick-guide-to-harvard- referencing-cite-them-right
OCA Formative Feedback: Page: 5
Assignment 6 is a pre-assessment tutorial, and I would recommend reworking the essay in light of comments above and submitting it again at this point.
